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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26822536">a sense of infinite hazard</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/possibilityleft/pseuds/possibilityleft'>possibilityleft</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Changing Fate, Flirting, Gods with Boring Names, Honor Among Thieves or No Honor, M/M, Magic, Teasing Gods, Thief, Treat, Worldbuilding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:26:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26822536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/possibilityleft/pseuds/possibilityleft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh, not too much," the thief said.  "It's just that I've been scheduled for execution tomorrow."  He held up his hands, casually helpless.  "Got caught again."</p><p>"You," the god said, his tone smoldering (in fact, a straw next to the thief's foot caught fire, and he had to stamp it out).  "Again?  Why are you such a terrible thief?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>God/Their Last Worshiper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Shipoween 2020 - The Halloween Ship Exchange!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a sense of infinite hazard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisuru/gifts">Kisuru</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well," the thief said, doing his best to relax back into the uncomfortable straw and stone walls around him, "guess that's it."</p><p>His cellmate looked at him.  "Who are you talking to?" he grumbled.</p><p>"Nobody at all," the thief said.  "Nope.  No one important."</p><p>He waited.</p><p>The god appeared in a blaze of light, his arms crossed.  The thief's cellmate shrieked and threw himself at the bars, babbling, but both the thief and the god ignored him.</p><p>"What now?" the god said.  He squinted at the thief.</p><p>"Oh, not too much.  It's just that I've been scheduled for execution tomorrow."  He held up his hands, casually helpless.  "Got caught again."</p><p>"You," the god said, his tone smoldering (in fact, a straw next to the thief's foot caught fire, and he had to stamp it out).  "Again?  Why are you such a terrible thief?"</p><p>"I mean," the thief said, standing up and brushing the hay from his backside, "isn't that on You, Ar--"</p><p>He stopped.  His cellmate was staring at them with wide eyes.</p><p>"Can we talk elsewhere?" the thief asked.  The god's eyes narrowed.</p><p>"Very well," he said, and in a poof of smoke, both of them were gone.</p><p>*</p><p>The thief and the god reappeared on a hillside overlooking the city.  The thief sat down in the grass and patted the spot beside him.  The god continued to stand.  He squeezed the bridge of his nose in frustration.</p><p>"Come on, Arnold," the thief said.  "You know you want to."</p><p>Out here, it was safe to say the name of the god.  There was no one else to worship him by name except some sheep the thief could see in the distance.  And he was pretty sure that sheep were too dumb for religion.</p><p>"I do not want to, Evan," the god said.  "I would like you to do your job.  Your real job.  And bring me some new worshippers."</p><p>The thief picked a piece of grass and used it to whistle.  The god frowned, but sat down next to Evan.  He plucked the grass from Evan's fingers and flicked it away, making Evan shiver.  He always did, when the god touched him.</p><p>"Being a priest is kind of boring," Evan said.  "I mean, traveling the world, bringing Your light, that's great.  It's just that there aren't a lot of perks, You know?  I just wanted a loaf of bread."</p><p>The god's eyes glowed briefly.  "You stole the Duchess's jewelry," he said.</p><p>"Well, sure, I mean, I was already there, so I figured--"</p><p>"A lot of people are going to be looking for you, Evan," the god said.  "There are a lot of people who would have called you a legendary thief, if only you hadn't gotten caught!"</p><p>A localized thunderstorm formed overhead, the wind whipping up around them.  Although Evan felt like it should, it did not billow through the god's robes.</p><p>"Well, I could tell the people looking for me about the god of thieves I worship," he said.  "Theoretically.  If they found me.  But I don't know if You'd get any worshippers if they then executed me, forthwith."  He drew his finger across his throat and made a noise.</p><p>"It is unlikely," Arnold said.</p><p>"So I'm thinking that maybe I'll pick up and go to the next town and see what I can do there.  No one is expecting me in…"  He glanced around.  "Wherever that is.  Where are we anyway?"</p><p>"The fields of John," Arnold said.  "Behold, the sheep of John."  He pointed.  Evan waved at the sheep.</p><p>"I don't suppose John is going to be interested in worshipping a god of thieves," Evan said.</p><p>"No," the god said.  "Tell me again why I shouldn't put you right back in that cell."</p><p>"Aww, come on," Evan said.  He leaned over and rested his thumb on the god's cheek, enjoying the deep electric thrill of the touch.  The god shut his eyes for a moment.</p><p>"Welllllll," Evan said, "I don't know what happens when a god's last worshipper dies.  Do you?"</p><p>The god was silent.</p><p>"So it seems like maybe I should step up my recruitment," Evan replied.  They had had this conversation more than once.  They had it at least three times a year since Evan had come of age and his master died, leaving Evan the small wooden idol he carried on him at all times, and a troublesome god who was always pushing him to find more worshippers.  The thing was, his master hadn't ever been very concerned with it, and Evan had eventually figured out why.  And maybe took advantage of it a little.</p><p>Evan's master hadn't had quite the same relationship with the god as Evan did, though.  Evan was pretty sure his master had never dared to kiss the god, which Evan had done twice, and the god refused to talk about.  He knew though that the god had liked it.  The second time, he'd glowed so bright that Evan was half blind for days.  He just liked to tease, just like Evan did.</p><p>"You should," Arnold, the God of Small-Time Thieves, said.  And then he vanished.  The clouds overhead blew away as if the thunderstorm had never threatened.  Evan sighed.</p><p>"Not in the mood for romance today, hmm?" he said, expecting no response.</p><p>He got up and took a personal inventory.  The guards had taken everything from him but his wooden idol, and they hadn't even bothered to ask his god's name.  It was still in his pocket.  Evan pulled it out, kissed the top of the god's head, and then put the idol back in his pocket, where it was warm against his leg.  Beyond that, he had the clothes on his back and the freedom to wander as he willed.</p><p>And probably he could have a sheep, he decided.  He started walking towards the flock, whistling a little.</p>
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